“Jayme,” Ryan murmured in my ear.

“Yes, my love,” I said, turning slowly to face him.

“My entire crotch is numb.”

I dropped his hand. Watching him tug at his cycling shorts, I realized he was clearly in pain. This was going to put a serious damper on our romantic getaway.

I’d told him so when we had packed for this trip. We were renting bikes in France, but I’d packed my saddle, my pedals, and my shoes to ensure maximum comfort. He’d packed his own pedals and shoes, but scoffed at my decision to bring my saddle: “a waste of good suitcase space.”

I took the subject of bike saddles more seriously than he did. I’d seen the studies on penile erectile dysfunction and impotence related to long distance cycling . But unless you’re a journalist who spends a lot of time on sites like PubMed, it’s easy to dismiss this information as urban legend. From a gear perspective, you don’t hear much about saddles – not compared to high-visibility items like frames and wheels anyway. No one’s ever purchased a bike solely for its saddle technology. But doesn’t the piece of equipment that’s in constant contact with you-know-where deserve a little more attention?

According to Annie Sirotniak, DPT, former professional racer and owner of Integrated Cycle Fit, a bike-fitting business in Lyons, Colo., the primary contact point between you and your bike should be your sit bones, the bones under the flesh of your butt that you sit on. Anatomically, “sit bones” is a layman’s term for a part of your pelvis known as the ischial tuberosity. If your saddle is too narrow, the pressure will be on the soft tissues between the bones, causing numbness and discomfort. If the saddle is too wide, it can cause chafing of the inner thighs, especially at higher cadences. For men, a cutaway through the mid-section of the saddle will relieve pressure you-know-where.

You can actually measure your sit bone width with the help of a friend. It’s not as lewd as it sounds. Sit on a hard flat bench and lean forward to simulate your riding position. Then point to where your sit bones touch the bench and let your friend mark the bench. Measure the distance between these points and then check it against your saddle. Your sit bones’ distance should correspond with the distance between the centers of the pads.

Most bikes come off the shelf with saddles designed to fit an average-sized male rider. Knowing your sit bones’ distance can help you determine if you fit that manufacturer’s idea of an average-sized man. If you’re a woman, you will most likely not – hence my insistence on bringing my own saddle to Provence.

My women’s-specific saddle works for me because it’s got firm, supportive padding with strategic gel inserts for extra give. I feel like these softer gel sections absorb and more evenly distribute my weight in key areas. The back portion of my saddle is slightly wider than men’s saddles, which fits my sit bones well. Remember that what works for me will not work for every woman. Saddle comfort is very individual. The basic idea is that a good saddle takes pressure off your soft tissue by supporting your weight on your sit bones.

At home, Ryan uses a carbon saddle that’s narrower than mine. What works particularly well for him is the cutaway straight through the center for maximum comfort. He also likes that the saddle is a bit stiffer in the rear which provides more power when pedaling. There are no gel inserts in his saddle. And of course, he likes it because it’s a lightweight racing saddle with carbon fiber rails (it weighs 24 grams less than mine).

Next time we take a romantic trip somewhere, I’m packing that baby myself. I can toss the lingerie to make room. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.