If only there was something to extend the season, some type of biking that embraced the muddy, snowy, windy weather that turns fall into winter.

Enter cyclocross, a “hard-man’s sport” invented by the Belgians, who never have nice weather. Think of a mountain bike short track course that’s less technical, but a lot more gnarly – sand pits, gravel, barriers that require dismounting your bike, and steep muddy uphills where you shoulder your bike and hoof it to the top. Sound like fun? Hell yeah! And the nastier the weather, the better. The point is to have fun, get dirty, and suffer like you’ve never suffered before.

And to get a new bike, of course. Your cyclocross bike will be like none you’ve ever known; taking the best of road and mountain bike technology to create the most irreverent two-wheeled beast known to man.

It starts with a scandium frame. Scandium ensures durability over rough terrain while keeping the weight down for those times when you run with the bike. “Scandium is a potent grain refiner that, when added to aluminum alloys, elevates the strength and durability of the material by 50 percent,” states Kona, a leading manufacturer of scandium bikes, on their website. “It does this by ‘straightening’ out the grains of the alloy, making the metal less susceptible to failure.” Carbon fiber would require extra reinforcement to reach the same level of durability, resulting in an increase in weight.

The frame geometry is similar to a road bike, except for the bottom bracket drop. You’re looking at 55-65 cm for a cross bike, as compared to 70-74 cm on a road bike. The additional clearance helps to negotiate obstacles like roots and rocks. And if you’re a hotdog, makes it easier to bunny hop barriers.

The saddle is the same you’d use on your road bike, just lowered to make it easier to remount your bike after run-ups and those barriers you didn’t bunny hop.

Speaking of run-ups and barriers, with all that time off the bike, a ‘cross bike calls for mountain biking shoes and clipless pedals; either egg-beaters or SPDs. Egg-beater fans claim the pedals are easier to get into when remounting the bike because there are four entry points, as opposed to two on SPDs, and that they shed mud easier. SPD proponents like the adjustable release tension that avoids the pesky pre-release that can happen with egg-beaters on bumpy terrain. SPDers also cite better durability and a more positive entry (you can more easily feel when you’re “in” the pedal).

A ‘cross wheel is simply a road bike wheel; the more bombproof the better. ‘Cross tires will always be thicker than road tires, but not as thick as mountain bike tires. Widths range from 28 mm (700x28) to 40 mm (700x40), depending on course conditions. If you use clinchers on the road, use clinchers for ‘cross. Same for tubulars.

‘Cross bikes use center-pull cantilever brakes, once popular on mountain bikes, but now obsolete in favor of disc brakes. The disc brake, coincidentally, has been banned on ‘cross bikes since 2003 by the national governing body of the sport (a highly controversial topic sure to cause an argument at its mere mention). So for now, go with center-pull cantilevers that balance braking power with reasonable pad-to-rim clearance to accommodate caked mud.

If you’re a super freak, you can run a singlespeed, but most of us use a ‘cross-specific compact crankset with 46/36 chainrings. A note on your componentry: I know you’re a gearhead, anxious to deck the halls with Dura-Ace or SRAM Red, but keep in mind that entry-level ‘cross racers (that’s you) are bike abusers. So start with something a little less precious, like say, Ultegra, so you won’t feel the need to hold a funeral after you trash the stuff.

Finally, get a big, fat cowbell. For after your race, when you’re throwing back a cold one and screaming, “Suffer! Suffer!” at the women who’ve just taken the course. Riding in the fall and winter has never been so fun.